I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Success is deliberate! Excellence is intentional! Victory comes out of struggles... Winners win because they played a role... Get busy now!

I moonlight as a singer.

I think that being a mom has made me a better person. I'm much more patient and much more chill than I was before.

Children have the wisdom of God and are closer to it than many people who have spent years in this world gaining all kinds of knowledge about the nature of religion. Children have it naturally.

[Rumors are a] vehicle for anxieties and aspirations that may not be openly expressed.

There's a new Facebook app that will post a final status update for you after you die. That's ridiculous. I don't need someone to change my status when I die. I need them to water my Farmville crops.

Different cultural and geological references inspire the collection as seen in ancient tribes and tradition.

But a little milk, butter and cheese are acceptable because no harm is done in obtaining them.

I love her beauty, but I fear her mind.

He is a thermostat leader, not a thermometer...He does not react to the environment he's in. He changes every environment he's in.