I went to the hardware store to buy some batteries, but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Awake my great spirit.

The truth is cruel but it can be loved and it makes free those who have loved it.

On my actual 16th birthday, on the actual day, I went home and I had chicken korma and Peshwari naan bread and pilau rice, and that was fantastic.

I find, in merchandising and design and creative, a business school degree isn't particularly helpful.

We have to be women we want our daughters to be.

When it comes time to default, they’re not going to remember any of the Republicans’ names. They are going to remember in history books one name, and that's Obama.

To be totally without stress is to be dead.

The most beautiful faces have some ugly in them.

I run me like a conglomerate, because that's what I am.