I will jump on anybody's private plane at the drop of a hat. I'm an old-fashioned lower-middle-class boy.

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

The greatest tragedy to ever happen to a nation is not the incidences of war or terrorism. It's when more bookshops close down and more drinking bars are opened to replace them!

Sometimes, you have to look back in order to understand the things that lie ahead.

Advertising holding companies used to boast about their share of the advertising market. Now they are proud of how much of their business is not in advertising.

I'd learned how much happiness money can bring you. Very little.

Obviously talent gets you to a certain point, but it's what you do with it, how you handle.

Sanctification is glory begun. Glory is sanctification completed.

Le mensonge et les vers de tout temps sont amis. Lies and literature have always been friends.

Why did god create a dual universe? So he might say ‘Be not like me. I am alone.' And it might be heard.

Reality is just a point of view.

I had a prostatectomy in the fall and fortunately it was encapsulated and I didn't have to go through chemotherapy.