I willingly believe that the damned are, in one sense, successful, rebels to the end; that the doors of hell are locked on the inside.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

When I was young, I believed God was a woman because I couldn't come up with any other explanation as to why the universe was so tidy.

For the scientific acquisition of knowledge is almost as tedious as the routine acquisition of wealth.

I like hard movies; I like ones that are basically the opposite of a date movie.

...if a child waited to speak until all the grown-ups settled down and gave her some room to say her piece, the most important things would never get said.

Desire is one of the burning experiences of human life.

Ireland is not in a good place at the moment. We have our own humiliation of losing our economic sovereignty, and we're now regaining it slowly and painfully.

I think I have a really diverse audience. I've had people from all sorts of sexual persuasions.

You never do things the easy way, do you?" she said. "There's an easy way?" I asked.

Break windows, smoke cigars, and stay up late. Tell 'em to do that, they'll find a little pot of gold.