I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

May be its mine bad-luck Or yours not to get me But I still have hope Of being yours

My friend, let us enjoy the present and give no thought to the evils of the future.

Promise and pie-crust are made to be broken.

YouTube was a way for people to hear me and for me to say, "Hey, I can sing this song, I'm not in front of you yet because I'm too shy, but here's how I sound for now."

In economics, unlike fiction and the theater, there is no harm in a premature disclosure of the plot: it is to see the changes just mentioned and others as an interlocked whole.

I think now I'm up to something like 85 different titles that I've published.

Instead of dissecting Scripture, we need to let Scripture dissect us our thoughts and attitudes, our dreams and desires, our fears and hopes.

I certainly was one of the instigators in the 1960s of freedom of expression.

My ideas and creativity are the sources of inspiration for me.