I wish I'd been a mixed infant.

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.

They took away our land, our language, and our religion; but they could never harness our tongues.

The terrorist is the one with the small bomb.

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.

The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.

Life sometimes reminds us that it is sometimes heartless by giving something or someone we really need to someone who does not need or even want them or it.

If our purpose of life is live in peace and happiness, then why are we always preparing for war?

He’s more how Satan would look if he needed to seduce you into drowning a baby.

Some people see scars, and it is wounding they remember. To me they are proof of the fact that there is healing.

I furnished the body that was needed to sit in the defendant's

I don't believe in God. My God is patriotism. Teach a man to be a good citizen and you have solved the problem of life.

I never think about how other people will respond to the way I dress.

I started out as a stand-up comedian. And that's what I'm most comfortable doing.

A woman's heart must be of such a size and no larger, else it must be pressed small, like Chinese feet; her happiness is to be made as cakes are, by a fixed recipe.

Some members of Congress are among the best actors in the world.