I wish I were either rich enough or poor enough to do a lot of things that are impossible in my present comfortable circumstances.

Moralizing and morals are two entirely different things and are always found in entirely different people

Babies are such a nice way to start people.

I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs.

The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.

It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.

Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.

The beggar is the only person in the universe not obliged to study appearance.

In all systems of theology, the devil figures as a male person.

There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.

Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.

Past and future is determined by what is now…right now! This is why the present is a gift

As when, O lady mine, With chiselled touchThe stone unhewn and coldBecomes a living mould, The more the marble wastes, The more the statue grows.

Life should be measured with product

Optimists are more qualified storytellers.

I have never cared especially for outdoor sports and have no desire to excel at tennis, swimming, or golf. I'll leave those things to the men.

I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe! jump of a bridge.

Everything my mother and father did was designed to put me where I am.

Ten minutes before you go onstage and you begin singing that torchy blues song, you may just be drinking a glass of water and brushing your teeth and doing some deep breathing.

poets are privileged to utter more than they can always quite explain, bringing up from the mind's unplumbed depths tokens of the nature of the world we carry within us.