I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima.

I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.

Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?

When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage.

I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I'm working with my left and right hand. I'm the two-sided coin. I'm all of those metaphors you can think of. I'm the interracial couple. I'm BET and CBS.

You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?

All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.

You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity.

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.

This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.

I should love her like there is an ache that won't go away unless I'm with her.

Those who understand God's sovereignty have joy even in the midst of suffering, a joy reflected on their very faces, for they see that their suffering is not without purpose.

I've never been the most important person to anybody - not even myself.

You can either follow your dreams with determination and persistence until they become true, or you can be blown by the winds of fate - were anything can happen.

The point is that it looks like gambling because the language of the game is money.

I was raised Jewish and bar mitzvahed.

All religions must be tolerated ... every man must go to heaven in his own way. [Die Religionen müssen alle toleriert werden ... denn hier muss ein jeder nach seiner Fasson selig werden.]

It's funny, I write lyrics in a bizarre way - I'm always writing lyrics, mostly when we're traveling or walking around New York, that's when I'm writing most of the stuff.

You cannot be both sane and well educated and disbelieve in evolution. The evidence is so strong that any sane, educated person has got to believe in evolution.

Hip-hop is limiting itself and that also goes for editorially. Magazines and websites are the gatekeepers of what people think hip-hop is, but they actually end up limiting what hip-hop can be.