I wish we didn't live in a world where buying and selling things seems to have become almost more important than either producing or using them.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

If you have to fight and want to win, use the strongest muscles: Heart.

All paths are seen, through the prism of fate

Perspective is worth 80 I.Q. points.

I've always been well liked. I was so popular in school everybody hated me.

The trouble with the media is that it seems unable to distinguish between the end of the world and a bicycle accident.

If you're going to have a male dominant system, to maintain the system, you have to teach men to dominate.

That takes a lot of confidence to let your actors come up with something that could be theoretically funnier than what you had envisioned originally.

An artist should be well read in the best books, and thoroughly high bred, both in heart and bearing. In a word, he should be fit for the best society, and should keef out of it.

My team is sabotaging me by not letting me sleep in my motorhome.