I wish we had all been born birds instead.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

But you knoe, she's right. Every single day, each time I see her face, see her, it's utterly precious.

Time flies when you grow fangs and fur.

I'm hunting for the truth. It might be a kind of poetic truth, and not just a factual one, because behind everything that happens to you, there is another truth, a secret life.

My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"

Well-married, a man is winged: ill-matched, he is shackled.

So, ah, I'm not sure if you know this, but you're not wearing a shirt." "Distracting, isn't it?

My work consists of two parts: of the one which is here, and of everything which I have not written. And precisely this second part is the important one.

Michael Jackson's album was only called Bad because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for Pathetic.

Best qualification for an aspiring journalist is curiosity.

I think on stage theres a side of me that comes out thats very fierce and confident.