I wonder if it's ethical to watch a man with binoculars and a long-focus lens? D'ya suppose it's ethical even if you prove that he didn't commit a crime? I'm not much on rear window ethics.

Weve become a race of Peeping Toms. What people oughta do is get outside their own house and look in for a change.

Where does a man get inspiration to write a song like that? Well, he gets it from the landlady once a month.

He had his choice, and he liked the worst.

Bad people don't go to hell, they are already there.

Surprise your doubts with action.

It's not that MySpace lost and Facebook won. It's that MySpace won first, and Facebook won next. They'll go down in the same order.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

Prayer is the greatest force that we can wield. It is the greatest talent which God has granted us. He has given it to every Christian.

A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human.

An efficient government is dangerous in the hands of the wrong man. Sadly, the right sort of man never seems interested in the job.

We must be cautious in claiming God is on our side. I think the real question we must answer is, are we on His side?

One fairer than my love? The all-seeing sun Ne'er saw her match since first the world begun.