I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off!

What is Fulfillment? Fulfillment is being Blissfully Content...with Pleasure and Peace...with Calmness and Courage...with Joy and Love.

Brent had a love-hate relationship with the Government. He hated what it had become over the years and loved to make an issue about it.

There is a shortage of teachers but the January 2001 schools census showed that teacher numbers were at their highest level than at any time since 1984 - and 11, 000 higher than 1997.

There is none who cannot teach somebody something, and there is none so excellent but he is excelled.

Well, when Christ comes back this time, I hope He comes back mad His own self. I hope He drives the Jim Crowers out of their high places, every living last one of them from Washington to Texas.

Yo, play me with a handshake. Say "What's up, L.L.? Good Luck." That's all. That's all I want. I don't want you to kiss my feet. That ain't necessary. Just give me respect.

I don't want everybody to see exactly where I live, what my sofa or my fireplace looks like.

Every Warrior of the Light has suffered for the most trivial of reasons.

I don't believe in email. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up.