I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup?

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Those who have a true love of freedom will do everything in their power to keep the freedom that they have.

As I've gotten older I look like a man, finally.

No matter what race we are, what ethnic background, sexual orientation, or what views we may have, we are all human. Unfortunately, not all humans see it that way.

Water has memory. Depending on how you treat it, what kind of thoughts and emotions you generate, accordingly it behaves in your body.

Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can.

The future is born, put the past in a casket

I love 40's-60's fashion because it suits the type of figure that I have the most, so that's what I always go for. I won't change!

What you are is a man who means to be good, and undo the bad he's done, and that's as good as any man ever gets.

The charm of fine manners is music and sculpture and picture to many who do not pretend to appreciation of these arts.

Complete and total perfection will come about only when we feel that our perfection is no perfections as long as the rest of humanity remains imperfect.