I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

Ascension to successive echelons in the pyramid of awareness is an act of inclusion requiring unconditional acceptance of all that lies below.

History make us smarter. Learn it before being to late.

Always give but never expect. Giving is happiness

I've always tried to fit what I do professionally into my family, rather than the other way around.

I see a New York where people who are down on their luck can get back on the road to responsibility, a job and dignity.

He fainted. Then he came to and remembered what happened and fainted again.

No endeavor that is worthwhile is simple in prospect; if it is right, it will be simple in retrospect.

We'll have more football later. Meanwhile, here are the highlights from the Scottish Cup final.

Today is a new day. Your future does not equal your past.

The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.