I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don't want to construct the show to prove something.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

I AM AN INDIAN, LIKE OTHER BILLION, HAPPY REPUBLIC DAY, HOPE TO FIND A GOOD WAY, WHERE THOUGHTS DIVINITY, IS NOT IN INFINITY, ITS UR LIBERTY.

It happened. It was awful. You aren't perfect. That's all there is. Don't confuse your grief with guilt.

God has placed no limits to the exercise of the intellect he has given us, on this side of the grave.

And remember, where you have a concentration of power in a few hands, all too frequently men with the mentality of gangsters get control. History has proven that.

That's part of what I tried to describe to my team and supporters after the election, there was a lot of disappointment.

As president, I will fight to make tuition in public colleges and universities free, as well as substantially lower interest rates on student loans.

In my normal life, I do not speak with an accent. It's harder for people to realize my hearing loss in everyday life.

The most fateful change that unfolded during the past three decades was not an increase in greed. It was the expansion of markets, and of market values, into spheres of life where they don’t belong.

Don't fear conflict, fear the silence.

Man's life is like a drop of dew on a leaf.