I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

Our true nature is one of innocence and freedom to choose how we live. We need to be brave enough not to give that away. Don't give up on your right to, and sense of, TRUTH, Justice, and GRACE.

You must realize that whenever you waste a second you are wasting life. If you waste a minute, you have wasted life and if you waste an hour, you have wasted life.

Life would be perfect if monster would stop farting.

He who does not think much of himself is much more esteemed than he imagines.

Whatever our creed, we stand with admiration before the sublime character of Jesus.

Classical music only really came into my life in 1969. I wish I had heard classical music and church music when I was a teenager or even as a child.

There were different moments where I was like, "Okay, this is who I am today." But, when I'm kept on my toes, I'm having the best time of my life.

I've always been the guy who doesn't necessarily get it with women. A woman would have to say, 'I like you, I want to go out with you, you can ask me.' And still I would question it. Did she mean it?

Gaiety is the soul's health; sadness is its poison.

There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done. School and prison.