I would be jokesmithing. I had files with tons of disses that I would try to write as I was on the train going to school.

I like drama. I love being in a drama where I get to be the funny guy. That's what I really love the most.

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short.

Great acting is being able to create a character. Great character is being able to be yourself.

Latins for Republicans. It's like roaches for Raid.

Independent film is for actors that love to act.

It takes time to understand yourself, to go inside yourself and to question yourself and really take yourself to task. That's self-expression.

Is there a God? Yeah, but there's not just one God. There's a whole lot of gods, because one God couldn't have possibly made so many mistakes all by Himself. This had to be done by committee.

I love life, and I embrace every minute of it.

You know, I am kind of a bi-polarish schitzerphrenic. I run the gamut of being incredibly shy and withdrawn to being a crazy-eccentric exhibitionist. And I have always been like that.

Marriage is wild. I thought it was this perfect land of happiness and joy. Wrong! After you say you do, you don't for a long time.

God comes down in the evenings to chat with man, enjoy man's company and find out how man faired in the course of the day.

The free lunch has still to be invented.

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it: 1. Admit it. 2. Learn from it, and 3. Don't repeat it.

I always get worried about disrupting continuity. I seem to get blamed for that a lot.

To what shall I liken the world? Moonlight, reflected In dewdrops, Shaken from a crane's bill.

I have found that a story leaves a deeper impression when it is impossible to tell which side the author is on.

I think writing is a very political act. I think that any writer who says it's not, is simply a writer who is disavowing the political connotations of what they write.

Avicenna California...Museum of my twisted youth, vault of my dearest and most disgusting memories.