I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

The difference between getting somewhere and nowhere is the courage to make an early start.

Today's business climate is not for me.

I've never been into parties, premieres or night-clubbing

My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don't really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she's been really helpful.

I was a total jock growing up. I went to super-dorky basketball clinics and was handpicked to play on a state team called the Texas Heat.

Second guessing a decision is a waste of time.

Technology has saved us money in some circumstances, but it has really afforded us the ability to cover stories from locations we might not have been able to in the past.

The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.

Patterning your life around other's opinions is nothing more than slavery.

Tweetin' ain't cheatin'.