I would like to thank Julius Caesar for originating my hairstyle.

Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

Would you believe in what you believe in if you were the only one who believed it?

Even a broke clock is right twice a day

Life is 5% what happens, and 95% how you react.

This is my life homie, you decide yours

Believe in your flyness...conquer your shyness

Nothing in life is promised except death.

Everything I'm not makes me everything I am

You're not perfect, but you're not your mistakes.

You basically can say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end.

I am aware that true miracles, things unexplained by human reason, can only occur when Jesus does them.

I absolutely adore Thanksgiving. It's the only holiday I insist on making myself.

Moderate Republicans are reverse Houdinis. They tie themselves up in knots and then tell you they can’t do anything because they’re tied up in knots.

I have very interesting hobbies like archeology and photography.

the middle manager is doomed to remain just that. Once an office rat, always an office rat.

But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.

To influence others must keep growing themselves.

The first step is to recognize what you need to know and why you need to know it.

Every single person in the world has something good about them. You just have to look inside of yourself and focus on it.

Photography is like making cheese. It takes a hell of a lot of milk to make a small amount of cheese just like it takes a hell of a lot of photos to get a good one.