I would not like it thought that I do not buy my own paperclips, sir. I enjoy owning my own paperclips. It means they are mine.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Love is the universal language.

It's Survival of Them Who's Best at Nicking Things, girl!

Michael Pollan is a champion. In all ways. A man of great integrity, humor, and common sense and kindness.

All I've ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.

Hush little baby, Dont you cry, Dont cut your arms, Dont say goodbye. Put down that razor, Put down that light, It maybe hard but, You'll win this fight.

If you try desperately to hang on to something that used to be a success for you, it's going to go away. You have to change.

Often people with fine countenances and fit bodies were mistakenly assumed by others to have the brains to match.

I didn't do this for other people; I did this for me. I fought for this right for me - does that sound selfish?

Emphasize the best, and minimize the rest

My brother, who was older, was the gifted one, much more talented than I.