I would only take a role that I know I'm comfortable in and I can do. I've turned down plenty of things because I'd feel it's not me, and I wouldn't want to come on someone's project and flip that.

I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.

Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?

When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage.

I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I'm working with my left and right hand. I'm the two-sided coin. I'm all of those metaphors you can think of. I'm the interracial couple. I'm BET and CBS.

You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?

All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.

You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity.

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.

This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.

You take a guy like George Clooney who goes out there to Darfur, and gets things done! That's magical. He's done a great thing.

I'm pretty sure I would never do a full frontal in a movie - for personal reasons, I wouldn't really want to show that.

We've Tweeted him, we've stalked him [on] Facebook. We thought because he was so into volleyball he would have got back to us. But no luck so far.

There is nothing else for you to do but to truly love and nourish the emotionally and spiritually starved parts of you that are crying out for your attention. Are you loving all of yourself?

A novel should be an experience and convey an emotional truth rather than arguments.

Educate yourself as much as you can with life. Just go out there.

My mother is the best storyteller. And her mother was too.

Many have lived on a pedestal who will never have a statue when dead.

I've always been interested in UFOs.

Art is not only the desire to tell one's secret; it is the desire to tell it and hide it at the same time.