I would prefer to believe that a market in fetal organs would empower women to use their reproductive capabilities to their own economic advantage.

Catholic extremism should be resisted as fiercely at home as we oppose the Taliban abroad.

If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.

Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.

Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.

Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises.

The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.

Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history.

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.

The willing spirit can do good deeds by grace.

I think it is important for people who are given leadership roles to assume that role immediately.

Trust me-the day I'm not into football, I'll walk away.

I've never used performance-enhancing drugs of any kind, and I never will. I've never met or spoken with Tony Bosch or used any substances provided by him. Anything said to the contrary is a lie.

I think I'm unique to the game 'cause of my versatility.

My own style influences have to do with where I grew up, in the Bronx, and I still like to wear bangles and big hoops!

When you walk in love, you give up your right to be right.

Our country is wherever we are well off. [Lat., Patria est, ubicunque est bene.]

I have a Sharpie. I love Sharpies. You know what they say on them? Not for letter writing. That sucks. Now I have to communicate with my dad using numbers.

The one who bets the most wins. Cards just break ties.