I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian.

You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness.

It's all I have left in my life, caffeine and a poodle.

I love strong women, not only in life but in craft.

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.

It's fun to play people who are flawed.

I believe it's a real tedious hostage negotiation to have a marriage be what it is.

There's a black man inside of me just trying to make bail.

I was very, very large as a kid and never athletic, and my home life was a little upside down and I never felt comfortable.

I think we love watching people that are flawed because we're all flawed.

Anyone can cook but only the fearless can be great.

In soloing-as in other activities-it is far easier to start something than it is to finish it.

To every soul that knows how to pray, to every soul that by faith comes to Jesus, the true mercy seat, divine sovereignty wears no dark and terrible aspect but is full of love.

No one ever became poor from giving.

God became man so that man might become a god.

The urgent can drown out the important.

There is but a slight difference between the man who may be said to know nothing and him who thinks he knows everything.

A helpful hand is a lesson in sharing and if you have the means why not play your part. Those who refuse your help are foolish, as we all know appreciating the helpful hand is just smart.

People think I'm so confident. Close family members can see through that.

The true runner comes to the finish and receives the prize and is crowned.

Aristotle him selfe sayeth, that medicines be no meate to lyue withall.