I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

I respect people who hate me honestly.

Some people think that they know our struggles, challenges and obstacles, but the truth is that they don't know half of them. This is why we should never allow others to define our lives for us.

In horror movies today its lots of fast cut shot and lots of loud noises on the soundtrack. I tried to do the opposite. Playing with silence for instance.

Golf is the crack of sports. If you hit five good shots, you know you can hit six good shots. The next time you hit six good shots, you know you can hit seven.

The weak are always anxious for justice and equality. The strong pay no heed to either.

I was able to not fold and go in a corner because I had my writing as therapy, but also as my tool for struggle.

Do not paint a picture either of God or the devil on your walls: this will ruin both your walls and the atmosphere.

The only hope we have is the Internet. We must strive to keep it free.

I've never regretted I was born too soon. I'm proud to be a child of the twentieth century. I'm satisfied to join its ranks on our side and fight for a new world.

I'll just say this: The last problem Paris Hilton has is being in a John McCain ad.