I wouldn't mind the rat race - if the rats would lose once in a while.

A smile is a facelift that's in everyone's price range!

I try not to worry about the future - so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time.

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.

A smile is happiness you'll find right under your nose.

About the only time losing is more fun than winning is when you're fighting temptation.

What this country needs is a credit card for charging things to experience.

If you spend all of your time racing ahead to the future, you're liable to discover you've left a great present behind.

The waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Your medical tests are in. You're short fat and bald.

Happiness doesn't depend on how much you have to enjoy, but how much you enjoy what you have.

It's never a good day when an ancient demon shows up on your toilet bowl.

I’m turned on by women who are comfortable in their own skin

Oh! You are a woman! You are the pure reflection of my mother, sister, and daughter. I can never hurt you.

One can only show how one came to hold whatever opinion one does hold.

The difference [God's] timelessness makes is that this now (which slips away from you even as you say the word now) is for Him infinite.

The best thing that would happen is for Facebook to open up its data. Failing that, there are other ways to get that information.

In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea, With a glory in his bosom that transfigures you and me; As he died to make men holy, let us die to make men free, While God is marching on.

I never really knew how to throw a football before.

The works of God are not accomplished when we wish them, but whenever it pleases Him.

The situation is perilous, but there is still one chance of escape.