I wouldn't piss on Joan Crawford if she were on fire.

It's better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for someone you're not. It's a sign of your worth sometimes, if you're hated by the right people.

You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good . . . Joan Crawford is dead. Good.

There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.

Getting old is not for sissies.

Some young Hollywood starlets remind me of my grandmother's old farmhouse -- all painted up nice on the front side, a big swing on the backside, and nothing whatsoever in the attic.

You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.

If everyone likes you, you're not doing it right.

A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense of everything else.

If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent.

My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose.

We are losing our common vocabulary, built over thousands of years to help and delight and instruct us, for the sake of what we take to be the new technology's virtues.

I don't know whyI've got so much hopepinned to someone who will never call me home.

Illogical thinkers throw names and slurs around because they have no arguments with which to rebut their opponents. Rational people have to keep hammering their points home.

The one we keep pitching and there are no takers is The Fabulous Baker Boys Go to Hawaii. There don't seem to be any takers on that one!

A learned man is a tank; a wiser man is a spring.

I don't know if we'd have been as dominant as we were last season. The new things, the new ideas the manager brought in everyone took them on board so well. He is special.

The painter's mind is a copy of the divine mind, since it operates freely in creating the many kinds of animals, plants, fruits, landscapes, countrysides, ruins, and awe-inspiring places.

Tech stocks are trading at a 30-year-low when compared to the multiples of industrials (companies). Its the weirdest bubble when everyone hates everything.

If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.

I have an extra set of eyelashes because you never know. I could cry or laugh, or it could be windy, and I'll need a standby pair.