I wouldn't want to be a talk show host. That's another awkward compliment people make. 'You should have your own talk show.' And I think, no thank you.

Tell me what you want, and then I'll put in what I want... after I'm done with my codependent providing for you, I'll get a little for me too.

I watch mediocre shows that have been on for three or four seasons, and feel angry at them.

Well, I refer to Celebrity Jeopardy as the short-bus Jeopardy, because it is a lot easier. Like, there was a whole column basically naming stores in New York.

One of the big tensions in my life is that I have known the stresses of financial hardship since I was a little kid, and it is the cancer for which I am seeking a cure.

I mean, I'll say the filthiest things in the world, but when it comes down to it, I'm kind of a prude.

I think the people that are best at something, they don't think about it much. That's the whole key to being good at anything.

Aside from accidentally by my kids, like wrestling around with my kids, no one has ever punched me in the face.

I've always tried to be nice to people, so that sort of translates into popularity, I guess.

I briefly considered doing Edgar Allan Poe and just swearing a lot.

No, I don't know any Emily Dickinson poems!

Failure doesn't mean you are a failure it just means you haven't succeeded yet.

It is an interesting fact that during my tour I was never allowed access to computers, radios, or anything else that I might damage through curiosity, or perhaps something more sinister.

Well private money can take risks in a way that government money often isn't willing to.

I had one relative who passed away but fortunately none others. So my sort of experience of it is quite limited, thankfully.

Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public.

Failure is a state of mind. It's like one of those sand traps an ant lion digs. You keep sliding back. Takes one hell of a jump to get out of it.

To sit in a big library amongst books and students, that was pretty cool. It was a novel experience for me.

Much of today's psychiatric science is based on wish, myth, and politics.

Love, and do what you will. If you are silent, be silent for love; or if you cry out, cry out for love. If you chastise, chastise for love; if you spare, spare for love.

Hemingway was very sparse in his writing. Kris Kristofferson is like that. He can take four words and say it all.