I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

Each day, compel yourself to do something you would rather not do.

Keep Smiling, Rock On!

Literature is the aesthetic exploitation of language

[The 'corporate takeover of people's lives'] also accounts for a lot of homogenization of culture. There are fast food restaurants everywhere. Every place tastes the same.

The tragedian will always be a limited tragedian if he has not learned how to laugh. The comedian who cannot weep will never touch the highest levels of mirth.

Remember that, however patient your study, you will never in adult life learn any language perfectly; the best you can hope for is to be a bore.

How do you keep safe when your whole day is as wide and empty as the sky?

When you faithfully follow the three duties of a Christian, God rewards you openly.

First of all, I was a wrestling fan when I was young. Even when I figured out what wrestling was, I was still a fan.

Our strength is often composed of the weakness that we're damned if we're going to show.