I write because I like to make things and the only things I am good at making things with are words.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Suffering is the sorrow of joy.

He's exasperated. "I'm saying I'm in love with you! I've been in love with you this whole bleeding year!

Reasoning with a drunkard is likeGoing under water with a torch to seek for a drowning man.

She was about to be married, and was frightened to death. And no-one would love her, ever again.

The injury that we do to a man must be such that we need not fear his vengeance.

Laughing makes everything easier.

Overwinding happens when hedge funds destroy companies by attempting to leverage derivatives against otherwise productive long-term assets.

If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.

Diversion and indifference are the two widest roads to Hell in today's world.

Work hard to achieve integrity in your work and your relationships with the people you work with.