I write because I must. It's not a choice or a pastime, it's an unyielding calling and my passion.

Only three types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk, and the angry.

Haven't you picked up on the irony of life by now? Things only just happen when you're not ready. When you're ready, you start trying, and gadamn I feel like trying right now.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned my whole life, time and age are but an illusion.

I write because I must. It's not a choice or a pastime, it's an unyeilding calling and my passion.

I was glad to hear that you were to be confirmed.

Someday they'll give a war and nobody will come.

Bobby Knight told me this: 'There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat a better offense.' In other words a good offense wins.

Im one of those people who think I can learn something from everybody.

She couldn't have found anything nastier to say if she had thought it out with both hands for a fortnight.

I got a feeling about political correctness. I hate it. It causes us to lie silently instead of saying what we think.

TV spots are short. If you can't hold folks' attention for 20 seconds before revealing the brand, find another line of work.

What I'm saying might be profane, but it's also profound.

Farce is nearer tragedy in its essence than comedy is.

I've got Colin Firth's number in my phone!