I write plays instinctively. I don't like writing movie scripts.

The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons ... were the fatties.

I had great difficulty in school interacting with others, and I took refuge in the contrived setting of play acting, which is what I still do.

I grew up in a secular suburban Jewish household where we only observed the religion on very specific times like a funeral or a Bar Mitzvah.

Every character I play has to be the hero of his own story, the way we're all heroes of our own lives.

I have an iPad and I watch three things: 'The Daily Show,' '60 Minutes,' and 'Meet the Press.'

No compliment is ever sufficient and every insult, of course, is true.

I have one female fan. But she lives with me. I'm not aware of any others.

Society will decide after the technology is created what we will and won't accept.

The happiest moments for me, creatively, are doing readings of a play around a table where there's no audience.

People ask me what my hobbies are in interviews, and I always say biking. But all I bike for is to get to rehearsal more quickly.

The past not merely is not fugitive it remains present.

The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.

The job of arguing with the umpire belongs to the manager, because it won't hurt the team if he gets thrown out of the game.

The tallest building in the world is now in Dubai.

The problem with being a Tour de France winner is you always have that feeling of disappointment if you don't win again. That's the curse of the Tour de France.

Sometimes you learn more from films that aren't terribly successful and, indeed, sometimes you learn more from real disasters than you do from the ones that succeed.

I can't pull off blond, but I got some blond tips. Which is as close as I'll ever come to being in a '90s boy band.

I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience.

Any relationship I ever have will have to be hidden, or else it will be destroyed before it even starts.