I write small and weird. Romcoms are not in my skill set.

Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

I'm glad that as a 33-year-old working mother, I can still choose to wear a Hello Kitty T-shirt or stay up late scrolling through the Twitter feed of my junior-high crush.

Couture gowns are like gremlins; you can't expose them to bright light or get them wet.

Los Angeles is often described as the nadir of vapidity, a smog-choked space cradle.

He is the cheese to my macaroni.

Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.

The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.

I've been told that I'm incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn't function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me.

It doesn't matter if they're in front of the camera or behind the camera. I know women who are producers who are surviving on nothing but juice and almonds.

I think sometimes people really require the satisfaction of closure.

Fear grows in the darkness of the mind. It vanishes with the light of knowledge like the morning mist.

This liberal progressive agenda... is the antithesis of who we are as a constitutional republic.

A Bill of Rights that means what the majority wants it to mean is worthless.

Since women are better at producing babies, presumably Nature has given men some talent to compensate. But for the moment I can't think of it.

When I was little in Spokane, Washington I drew all the time... and my father would bring paper home... and I mostly drew browning automatic water-cooled sub-machine guns... that was my favorite.

The pain of losing is diverting. So is the thrill of winning. Winning, however, is lonelier, as those you've won money from are not likely to commiserate with you. Winning takes getting used to.

In the forming of female friendships beauty seldom recommends one woman to another.

I think magic is very related to happiness. So it is not there all the time, but there are beautiful moments of magic in everyone's life.

Writing a screen play with a group of collaborators is like the Lennon McCartney collaboration .... sometimes one or two people do more than others on certain parts of the process and vice versa.

How can you be certain that your whole life is not a dream?