I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

My mind is the only sanctuary that has not been stolen from me.

Live in the moment! Yesterday is gone forever, tomorrow is yet to come, but you have right now. Live in the moment!

In order to be a leader a man must have followers. And to have followers, a man must have their confidence.

Remember that almost everything looks better after a good night's sleep.

Success is not something to wait for, it is something to work for.

Sunshine Cake is just a fun hobby thing. That's about it.

To err is human, but to persevere in error is only the act of a fool.

If you want to gain market share at your competitor's expense - look for a customer that's suffering from too much complexity and simplify it.

I've always been a great lover of baseball.

Nothing's gonna stop me from floating