I write what I write and I honestly don't care if it gets on or not. I'm writing to see if I can find out some of what I think about any number of situations. I work it out in the writing.

Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be, let me tell you. Honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

The only way to avoid age discrimination in Hollywood is to die young.

I think the greatest imagination we can exercise is one that imagines how someone else feels. Because you know how you feel, but so often we attribute our own feelings on to someone else.

Today's audience knows more about what's on television than what's in life.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not the legs that go first; it's remembering the word for legs.

We may be born equal but we're not equally talented.

Most jokes state a bitter truth.

Television is a weapon of mass distractrion.

If Hitler’s still alive, I hope he’s out of town with a musical.

people decided that trees have no feelings

People forget history nowadays, that is what the ego does, making one the prisoner of one's inflated present, ignoring the humble past one had lived.

A lot of people who look at my photographs think it is an easy joke, but it does take a bit of thinking about.

I am tired of angry feminists. I like my women happy, gregarious... and bathed.

The eye is the window of the human body through which it feels its way and enjoys the beauty of the world.

Like wildflowers you must allow yourself to grow in all the places people thought you never would.

Tutors should behave reverently before their pupils.

The public for which masterpieces are intended is not of this earth.

I like to write first-person because I like to become the character I'm writing.

We need to be creating a world that we would like to live in when we're not the biggest power on the block.