IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.

The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have to clone your imagination into being an image of yourself. Imagine that.

The NSA may, or may not have rejected the invisible secret operative application form I never even bothered to have sent over to them. I'll never know...

A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective.

The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet not enough to believe all the bullshit.

I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think.

Some people are so much heaven to the square inch that life is simply hell, when she leaves you in order to go south for the winter. (Yes, women are people too, sometimes even threee.)

Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I'd take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it's Tuesday.

When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow.

To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my secret underground laboratory at night...

My grandpa, unlike Jarod Kintz, was an Elder. Now that he's dead and gone, he's a ghost French wizard. And no one knows what French wizards are good at…

Can't abide adventure. 'Adventure' is a word people use to put a shine on lack of preparation and surviving through dumb luck.

Oh but it is Mr Bernstein, it is the ultimate game. And, once you take this folder you will have precisely 14 days in which to decide whether or not you would like to play.

The approach of death certainly concentrates the mind.

I prefer insomnia to anaesthesia.

One cannot find a healthy economy anywhere in the world that does not have a strong industrial base, period.

I don't have high expectations anymore. Maybe they've just been beaten out of me.

I try to keep myself as sane and as grounded as possible by surrounding myself with normal people, such as all the friends that I've had from when I was little.

The best part of a party is getting dressed to go.

Jackson [Rathbone] is the most artsy, creative and, I think, the most talented.

No matter what sign you were born under, everybody else's horoscope will be more fun than yours.