IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT /MEANT/ TO BE SAFE.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

My experience has confirmed the wisdom of so much of what the Bible teaches.

Common folk didn't have last names in the 8th and 9th centuries.

I think I'm getting a little bit of Alzheimer's. Just a little.

Dad said I would always be "high minded and low waged" from reading too much Ralph Waldo Emerson. Maybe he was right.

Perhaps it had nothing to do with sin and everything to do with sociopathy, that most incurable of human disorders because all so afflicted consider themselves blessed rather than cursed.

21 years as CEO is a long time. I was and probably still am the longest serving CEO in America. Certainly I am in the media industry, bar none.

I don't like shopping, and I like my clothes to be comfortable.

My family was all police and hard hats at the refineries; they didn't know what to think about me. So I became a closet writer.

I tend to close my eyes when I look at people anymore.

It is important not to confuse freedom with mere permissiveness