If Christianity is untrue, then no honest man will want to believe it, however helpful it might be; if it is true, every honest man will want to believe it, even if it gives him no help at all

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

I look at myself but I'm missing. I know myself: it’s not me.

We clutch our bellies and roll on the floor...When I say this, it should mean laughter, not poison.

What some invent the rest enlarge.

The human brain now holds the key to our future. We have to recall the image of the planet from outer space: a single entity in which air, water, and continents are interconnected. That is our home.

Well, I think I am a very, very lucky person. I'm very fortunate.

Let your heart believe only what nurtures you.

I was going to be valedictorian in elementary school, but I got into too many fights, and they made me salutatorian. I was smart back in the day. Now I'm just an idiot.

America is a divided country; we have always been a divided country, but even more divided now, thanks to Trump and a lot of other things, as well.

Stop being yourself and become who u always wanted to be

I've been trying to get into the Royal Box in New York for years. They say I'm too dirty, my material is too blue. But I think Redd, the whites and blue can be a nice combination.