If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is?

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

...as we rise from the organic and sink back ignominiously into the organic, it is a glory and a privilege to love what Death doesn't touch.

Aww." Sarah patted Mr Trinozka on one of his shoulders. "How cute are you?" She turned to Charlotte. "I love country monsters." Sarah, Witch of the 13th Generation

Use what talents you have the woods would have little music if no birds sang their song except those who sang best.

When you're really considering all the qualities of food, purity is right there at the top of the list. I'm unwilling to eat food that has been adulterated.

I am a grown woman-- mostly-- and I can guzzle champagne with whomever I choose.

Our journey is not complete until all our children... know that they are cared for and cherished and always safe from harm.

I fully understand it's important to maintain the separation of church and state. We don't want the state to become the church, nor do we want the church to become the state.

Novels are make-believe and play for adults.

I think you should aim for the stars - and hopefully avoid ending up in the clouds!

The hardest part of playing the trumpet is the physical act of making the sound.