If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

A baby isn’t meant to stay a baby forever, and neither is a new Christian.

You cannot have the right to do what is wrong!

My mother was a regular church-goer and was very tolerant.

The equality of rights of all citizens is the basic tenet of modern democratic societies.

Whatever you do not employ, you forfeit.

Find the one thing you’re good at and FOCUS on it.

Every man at three years old is half his height

Having just the vision's no solution, everything depends on execution

Every other religion points to answers. Jesus, though, says 'I am the answer'.

All these teenagers tell us how much they want to grow up and then when they do they want to be young again.