If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!

When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.

I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.

I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.

Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.

I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?

My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.

Negative thoughts and beliefs are poisons to one's true destiny on earth.

Not everything we experience can be explained by logic or science.

I'm completely indifferent to what genre I read provided that I feel sympathy with how a writer perceives being alive in the world.

If one is to be called a liar, one may as well make an effort to deserve the name.

I eat a cheeseburger with French fries almost every day.

All painters are interested in photography to a certain extent.

When I look back on my career, I go, 'This is really great, I've played so many different women.'

Darkness is merely the absence of light, and fear is merely the absence of love. If we want to be rid of fear, we cannot fight it but must replace it with love.

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway.

The Technetronic era involves the gradual appearance of a more CONTROLLED society. Such a society would be dominated by ELITE, unrestrained by traditional values.