If I can go from burglar for the government to talk show host, you can go from entertainer to congressman.

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

The press is like the peculiar uncle you keep in the attic - just one of those unfortunate things.

If the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms insists upon a firefight, give them a firefight. Just remember, they're wearing flak jackets and you're better off shooting for the head.

Three people can keep a secret as long as two of them are dead.

You can't kill ideas. But you can sure shoot the people who hold them

My last fear, the fear of God, died with my faith.

One of the biggest lies in the world is that crime doesn't pay. Of course, crime pays.

The official version of Watergate is as wrong as a Flat Earth Society pamphlet.

Once you start a war, you have to win.

If you're not a target, you're a failure.

Stars don't beg the sky to shine.

No one has ever made me feel like this, no one. So much regret, so much loss, and so much desire all swirled together in my muddled brain. In my muddled heart.

I engage in subtle stalking. That's entirely different and perfectly socially acceptable.

Life is a great and noble calling, not a mean and grovelling thing to be shuffled through as best as we can but a lofty and exalted destiny.

Being so honest in my writing is cathartic.

A vocation is not something you slap on, like a coat of paint, and change whenever you want. A vocation is built into you. You have no choice. If you try to do something else, you fail.

In my work and what I do, I am Queen of the Universe every day!

I was kind of hoping it was Anna Kournikova.

I started reading and talking and interviewing nutritionists and a thread was starting to form for me which is - a protein digests in a different rate of speed than a carbohydrate.

You might not agree with me, but I always offer a lot of support.