If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it.

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P!

I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.

You know, be able to do something great in your life, you're gonna have to realize your failures. You're gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!

Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t

I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.

Doing the things you hate is living in a world of sin. Hell is staying in the place Jesus saved you from. That is, to live on your own, without God.

I've never really understood why people sleep. Wasting a third of your life and becoming vulnerable for almost 8 hours every night. Doesn't seem very appealing to me.

Before I disappear behind the door, I stop and turn around to look at him.

If Donald Trump wins, it represents a rightist revolution in America.

If the poor, for example, because they are more in number, divide among themselves the property of the rich,- is not this unjust? . . this law of confiscation clearly cannot be just.

And I was the Lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.

Grace is ours. Let's live it! Deny it or debate it and we kill it.

Well, it looks as if the top part fell on the bottom part.

If you are going to abandon your work because someone speaks ill of it, then it has never been your work, has it? It becomes theirs. You give it up.

Love is blind, you just see bright light