If I can't suck your milkshake through a straw, it's not a milkshake--it's a glass of ice cream.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Life is a natural phenomenon – and by mystifying it, one only disgraces its natural beauty.

Our economic freedom is founded on individual property rights government should never be permitted to take those away.

When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.

Health is the most critical thing in our life. With your health anything is possible, without it you can't do anything.

Hitler is a medicine man type of leader.

Up at the crank of dawn.

Defeat in this world is no disgrace and that is what they cannot understand. If you really fought well and fought for the right thing.

Real prayer is union with God, a union as vital as that of the vine to the branch.

He liked her; it was as simple as that.

There is no instance of a nation benefiting from prolonged warfare.