If I could just get over my issues of wanting people to like me.

If you look at any successful skit comedy show, ever, there is that format of introducing you to the player in the beginning, and then going on to see those sketches.

You hold precious what you create for yourself in your life that makes you comfortable.

There's a sketch where we're playing two terrorists in a cave, and my terrorist is very frustrated as to why we haven't flown a plane into a building in 13 years.

I'm racist against non-black people.

I have always, or for the most part, identified myself as a biracial person.

Being a melting pot is what I think is great about being American, and also that we get to do something that other people don't get to do, we get to be a hyphenate. That's a good thing.

You can not have comedy unless people are behaving badly. You can't have it.

The audience loves to figure things out. They love it when a performer leaves a trail of bread crumbs for them, and they get to participate in the comedy.

I have this little thing that people call Keegan-ese, where I don't speak English words at all. I just say stuff like, "You gotta toish the doish and you gotta maloish the hoish."

There is no top. You are never going to reach the top if you go for success. That way lies madness.

Don Quixote could never manage without his patient servant Sancho Panza.

Peace is not the absence of war but the presence of justice.

What if deep down inside you...you knew you were more amazing and magnificent than you thought you were?

Fatigue, discomfort, discouragement are merely symptoms of effort.

Throughout history there have been those who have created change, and others who have feared it.

His Christianity was muscular.

The ninety and nine are with dreams, content but the hope of the world made new, is the hundredth man who is grimly bent on making those dreams come true.

She already has a car.” “A Ford. That’s like Toyota’s worst enemy.

Alcohol is an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind.

Whoever dreamed up Scrabble had an exaggerated idea of how many 7-letter words have five i's.