If I didn't care for fun and such, I'd probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

God is the Wonderful Counselor.

Hold your venomDo you recognise the instinctin me, fellow scorpion?

In all of history, we have found just one cure for error—a partial antidote against making and repeating grand, foolish mistakes, a remedy against self-deception. That antidote is criticism.

It's very British to go about to see something unusual and paint it.

The great interests of man: air and light, the joy of having a body, the voluptuousness of looking.

I was a traditional teacher for a time, but my students would ride the energy. I wanted to free people not give them a placebo.

You have to expect the raps when you have achieved popularity as a writer

God without us will not as we without God cannot.

There are four kinds of people in this world: cretins, fools, morons, and lunatics.

It's better to say, 'I'm suffering,' than to say, 'This landscape is ugly.