If I didn't have kids, I would be at the theater or the ballet every single night of my life.

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit!

Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.

As we speed along this endless road to the destination called who we hope to be, I can't help but whine, 'Are we there yet?'.

I don't believe in email. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up.

Follow your instincts and do not let other people's opinion of you become your opinion of yourself.

It's like the riddle of the Sphinx... why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men?

Balls are to men what purses are to women.

After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breath and reboot.

People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates - hoping to hit the jackpot. But mostly, you just wind up broke or alone in a bar.

I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies. Two seemingly different ideas that might just be perfect together - like chocolate and peanut butter.

Mom has a massive sunflower for a soul so big there's hardly any room in her for organs.

A good dream was something you clung to until the last moment before waking.

World is full of people waiting to pursue their passion, if given a chance. Unfortunately, the "chance" will not be given, it needs to be earned.

Stop opposing the truths.The truth is truth no matter how you take it. It is not going to be changed for your inconvenience.

I do not speak as I think, I do not think as I should, and so it all goes on in helpless darkness.

If the universe has an end, it means we are captive fishes in an aquarium! If it has no end, we are lost sheep in the eternal darkness!

Since infinity is by its very nature infinite, then enlightenment by its very nature is infinite, and thus can be experienced in infinite ways, by itself or without itself

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, as long as the lightbulb wants to change.

I feel fairly certain that my hatred harms me more than the people whom I hate.

The only true conquests-those that awaken no regrets- are those obtained over our ignorance.