If I don't believe it, I don't care.

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

If you can't stand yourself, neither can anybody else!

The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.

A great NOW will be a great WAS! A bad NOW will always be a bad WAS, and all you can hope for is a Great GONNA BE!

If you have no tragedy, you have no comedy. Crying and laughing are the same emotion. If you laugh too hard, you cry. And vice versa.

Jazz is a beautiful woman whose older brother is a policeman.

People come up to me and they thank me: 'I thank you for the many, many hours of laughter.'

Dreams are born from the Rubbles of Pain.

Delay is not a help-mate. The cemetary is full of people who thought they could DO IT tomorrow. Do It Now!

In a few wretched buildings, we created a whole new industry with international significance.

My life is a lovely story, happy and full of incident.

It's highly ironic that it was the conservatives on the court who overturned so many statutes.

I learned that gratitude is the best feeling I would ever have, the ultimate joy of living.

Songs are snapshots of things - it's likened to looking at pictures. It will never feel like it felt in real life. When you look at it, it always feels different. It's sort of the same with songs.

I love you if you love me.

When you're happy for yourself, it fills you. When you're happy for someone else, it pours over.

I think a lot of contemplation happens in bathtubs. It does for me. Nothing like a hot bath to ease the tension and think about what's going to happen next.