If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

You cannot show people only the petals and not the thorns. It's not fair to them.

There are consequences if you act militarily, and there's big consequences if you don't act.

Many people ask me what I have learned from all of the experiences in my life, and I say unhesitatingly: People are wonderful. It is true. People really are wonderful.

In war, as it is waged now, with the enormous losses on both sides, both sides will lose. It is a form of mutual suicide.

The people that know the industry better than anybody are the people who work in the industry.

If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.

I've been traveling a lot, and I'm seeing a lot of desperation everywhere in America. A lot of sad desperation.

Montaigne [puts] not self-satisfied understanding but a consciousness astonished at itself at the core of human existence.

Falling in love with Renee was not the kind of thing you walk away from in one piece. I had no chance. She put a hitch in my git-a-long.

I just like to play anything that's competitive. If I'm not competing against somebody, then I might as well play something I can enjoy.