If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

Christians have the spiritual mandate to establish the Kingdom of God in their own lives and in their society.

People were usually much better in their letters than in reality. They were much like poets in this way.

I will serve with all my might.

We are so rebellious that when we die our cells refuse to live a second longer. But our souls they live always....

Screen work always boils down to that moment between the camera and the actor or the actors. It always boils down to that, ultimately. You serve the camera.

When people know you've been a soldier, they judge you: you are a thief, a lost boy.

The whole basis for our relationship with God is rooted and grounded in grace, in that which is not earned.

I had my bully, and it was excruciating. Not only the bully, but the intimidation I felt.

Closing the gap for women entrepreneurs should be a priority for the federal government - and yet the Small Business Administration has failed in their promise to women business owners.

Coral reefs represent some of the worlds most spectacular beauty spots, but they are also the foundation of marine life: without them many of the seas most exquisite species will not survive.