If I give up drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten years to my life. Trouble is, I'll add it to the wrong end.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Happiness is more of a necessity than a choice thus we must consider it a priority in everyday's life.

I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.

The Physical Symbol System Hypothesis. A physical symbol system has the necessary and sufficient means for general intelligent action.

None but great men are capable of having great flaws.

Brave people may be persuaded to an action by representing it as being more dangerous than it really is.

Is it worse to be scared than to be bored, that is the question.

When I see guys in bars wearing the real fitted kind of Calvin Klein v-neck t-shirts I just want to go up to them and be like, 'Oh, do you work out? Your tricep looks so great - thank you.'

I love the fashion world. I love clothes. I love style.

The benefits of biomedical progress are obvious, clear, and powerful. The hazards are much less well appreciated.

Let your light shine. Be a source of strength and courage. Share your wisdom. Radiate love.